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When I'm on the golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'cause I know even God can't hit a one iron.

You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two dollars in your pocket.

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

Golf is the most fun I've had with my clothes on.

I am not saying my game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would come up sliced.

My family was so poor they couldn't afford to have kids.
So the lady next door had me

One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and a cooler. And If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic