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JOKES & QUOTES

 

Golf Defined

  • Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured
    by the occasional miracle.
  • "I wish I could play my normal game....just once."
  • Golf is harder than baseball, in golf you have to play your foul balls.
  • If you do find that you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: Your life is in trouble.
  • Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot, rarely make the perfect shot.

  • The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul-it-again."
  • A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.
  • An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.
  • Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
  • I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

  • If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might want to reconsider this game.
  • Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.
  • Golf is the only sport where your most feared opponent is you.
  • Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work....and both are expensive.
  • The best wood in most golfer's bags is the pencil.

  • To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
  • In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers...they shoot a "six", yell "fore" and write "five".
  • Swing easy. Hit hard.
  • Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
  • Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

 

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