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Top Ten Signs You’re Choking
- Beads of sweat are breaking out on your tongue.
- You’re panting like Rush Limbaugh rolling a boulder up
Mt. Everest.
- In a past life, you were a wildebeest with its windpipe
clamped in a lion’s mouth.
- Your face is redder than a baboon’s butt.
- Your eyeballs are bulging like Marty Feldman in King Kong's
death grip.
- You’ve got all the mellowness of a hypertensive hummingbird
crossed with a jackhammer.
- Crack junkies tell you to lighten up – you’re making them
look bad.
- .Between you and 101 dalmations, you’re the one peeing
more.
- You’re trembling like Robert Downey Jr. with a cop in
his rear-view mirror.
- Before each shot, your caddy gives you the Heimlich.
© Clark Peterson author
of The Goober's Guide To Golf
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