Health Food
This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60
years, die tragically in a car crash. They have been in
good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife's
nearly neurotic interest in health food.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them
to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful
kitchen and master bath suite, complete with Jacuzzi. As
they "oohed and aahed' the old man asked St. Peter how much
all this was going to cost.
"It's free," St. Peter replied, "Remember, this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to see the championship golf course
the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges
every day, and each week the course changed to a new one
representing the great golf courses on Earth. The old man
asked, "What are the green fees?"
"This is Heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet
lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much
to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked. "This is Heaven.
It's free!"
"Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol foods?"
the old man asked timidly.
"That's the best part ... you can eat as much as you like
of whatever you like and never get fat and you never get
sick. This is Heaven."
The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your #@!%&~
bran muffins. I could have been here ten years ago!"
